I was doing some work on my website with Sarah from Sark e-Media the other day, and I was saying that I felt the time was right to change my profile page, so if you’re reading this post a few weeks on, not all the info to back it up may be there.
My profile page currently speaks about the abusive relationship I was in with my ex in 1999-2001. My history is key to who I have become and my ability to overcome what can often feel like the overcome-able, but I have never felt a need to be a figure head for abused women, or a particular pull to supporting women that have been/are in abusive relationships.
Of course I am able to empathise, but I also see the broader picture, and connect with other women’s stories and struggles.
Before It Goes
But before I lay that page on my site to bed, I thought I would take two minutes to clarify the misconceptions that can lie with an abusive history – for many it becomes and remains history. This is not my story, and I know there are others like me.
Back To The Future
This March will see 14 years since I had my ex arrested – the last time he took me to court was in 2011, this was the last time of VERY many.
Yet over the last few months it has become apparent that he still stalks me.
Despite changing my name 4 years ago he seems to have tracked me down, and be spying on information about me – I don’t feel scared, it just makes my heart sink. Sometimes he has a week where he fills my inbox with vitriol and nastiness. It is draining.
Am I Safe?
It all feels like a bit of a nuisance. He is an annoyance; a pain in the butt. But statistically maybe I should be a bit more worried…..
2 women a week are murdered by ex partners in the UK every week.
I know that the more of a reputation through my work I build, the more my social media profile grows, and the more followers on my blog that are signing up – the more visible I become.
The more visible I become, the more Dudley can see what I’m doing, the more traceable I become.
I may not be safe here…….. I’m not going anywhere.