reset your mindset

FAIL! 11


15/30 of my blogging challenge 2015

 

The New F-Bomb

When you think of a rude word beginning with F there is probably one that immediately jumps to mind… but beyond that there seems to be a whole new f-bomb that no-one wants to mention. What do you think…

is it ok to say we’ve failed?

Lots of the clients I’ve been working with recently have been steered away from this word – ‘there’s no failure if you take learning from a situation‘ seems to be adopted as a new mantra.  And one that is adopted right through the education system these days, ‘we’re all winners really‘.

Really?

Is it not ok to say we failed but learnt from it anyway?reset your mindset

At the beginning of this month I signed up to take part in the 30 day blogging challenge again – and yet, only two days in I failed

There were reasons for my failure. Leaky pipes, incompetent plumbers, poorly laptops, increased workload….. lots of things conspired against me, and I chose not to blog.  It wasn’t a conscious decision to quit, just a daily decision not to sit at the computer at gone midnight.

Happy To Have F**ed It Up

I’m happy to have failed, and to see it for what it is, because I know that it does not define me, and I believe this is the key to accepting the new f-bomb for what it is. There is no shame in failure because at least I have given it a go. Failure holds little fear for me because I know that with each fail I am getting one step closer to doing better next time.

Making mistakes is no bad thing – continuous repetition of them however usually needs addressing.

Where To With The Blog?

I’ve decided to jump back in where I left off, and make up the 10 days I missed when I finish… Day 12 was at Birds, and Day 13 at Firewalkers.  This is something I advise clients to do when they fall off their own personal wagon – so if you have a cigarette after you’ve given up smoking you may have failed, but your ability to see yourself as a non-smoker who had a cigarette, rather than a smoker once more, can make all the difference.

Your F-Bomb

So what about you?  Do you avoid the word FAIL like the plague? Or do you claim your failures as your own personal victories?  I’d love to hear your thoughts, so leave a comment below to let me know where you stand with the F-Bomb

 

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About Lottie Moore

Lottie is the founder here at the Women's Inspiring Social Hub - she loves to connect, so why not join her in the free private Facebook tribe - www.wishwomen.org.uk/comfort-zone


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11 thoughts on “FAIL!

  • Julia Skinner

    As a retired head teacher Lottie I prefer to think about learning from every situation. Som etimes it takes the reflection to turn a ‘fail’ into a ‘learn’ but it is really important to make sure our young learners realise that not reaching your goal at that point, not understanding at that moment in time are all part of learning and there is always another opportunity. Great to finally meet you!

    • Lottie Moore Post author

      Great to have you here Julia – I completely agree, not just for our young ones, but for a life long process, that learning from our experiences and grasping at our opportunities is the key to success and enjoyment.. Though I think it’s ok to say that we’ve enjoyed those moments where success has not arrived too.

  • James

    We only ever fail when we give up for good. Even if we take a pause from a particular project or task and then return to it at a later stage we have not failed. Though should we be under time constraints like under exam conditions I guess we are able to fail on that occasion. Yet if you choose to re-take the exam at a later stage and pass you have no longer failed!
    Keep focused, keep going and unless you give up, walk away and never return you cannot fail!!

    • Lottie Moore Post author

      Thanks for stopping by James 🙂
      I’m not sure I share your opinion on this one my friend – the original exam failure will always be there, but using this as a way to fuel your future success puts that failure in a more positive light.
      I think the f** ups in our lives are what makes our successes so awesome

  • Tammy

    I agree Lottie! I embrace failure (maybe not so much at the time 🙂 ) But I’ve always been better off when I regroup and see where I went wrong and what I need to do not to F* up again.

  • Mike Gardner is The Time Doctor

    Fail – First Attempt In Learning- as you say Lottie if you keep doing the same thing wrongly or falling into the same traps, it probably needs attention. I have failed loads of times, i have a tendancy to royally F**k up now and againn, but it usually falls under the umbrella of “it thats the worst thing to happen today, It will be a good Day” great post

  • Claire Brotherton

    I don’t like failing but I’ve realised it’s almost essential in business.

    There’s no way to get on without trying, making mistakes, learning from them and resolving to do things better in future. It helps to have supportive people who help us see the good in the bad and not get too downhearted. Especially if they’re a bit further down the road than us and have failed many times also!

  • Diana

    This is a great post – as Primary Teacher (now supply) and a tutor for adults, I always try to reassure people that it is ok to make mistakes (to fail)- in crochet you can rip it out and start again, in teaching it might be that we need to work together in order I can help you find a better answer – I think a lot of teaching is facilitating, assisting the learner to make better decisions at various times – doesn’t mean that we are always successful – but mistakes can be made, and it is usually not of a huge consequence in the larger scheme of things!

    I ‘failed’ get my ‘O’ level maths twice – not only at secondary school, but also at evening classes. I went to college to train as a teacher and was allowed to do my (by then) GCSE Maths. It all suddenly made sense, and while I still struggle a little today with my multiplication tables, I have far more mental techniques that I can use, and crochet designing has a HUGE amount of mathematics in it!

  • Michele TravelwithMrsT

    Love the title! I truly believe that you learn from your failures, and you have to acknowledge them as failures! I’m happy to announce that I completed the 30 Day Blogging Challenge (on my 3rd try) thanks to things I learned from the first failures (did finish, but not in successive days) and the excellent support from others in the #august cohort! As an educator for 25 years, I always encouraged parents to look at what they and their children perceived as failures, as opportunities for learning and growth. But allowing them to be such opportunities requires that you take a careful look at what happened, and not just brush the failure under the rug!

  • Wendy Tomlinson

    Love this post Lottie. Failure issues are a big thing in my coaching work too. Making that mindset shift so that we can reframe a perceived failure into that learning experience is powerful.

    I used to have a reoccuring nightmare. I would be running up stair (spiral one’s like I imagine inside a lighthouse to be). I’d be running and all of a sudden the stairs would disappear and I would be falling. I never hit the floor, this is when I’d wake up. I had the dream analysed and I was told I had a fear of failure. Haven’t had that dream for quite a few years now. Seems my subconscious mind is now on board with the idea of failing being okay too.